Affection: book 7 Read online

  My sickness is a little tough this morning and I was tempted to not come in but if I’m going to be a mother soon, I need money. Babies are expensive. I know that because there’s plenty of them in the club.

  My dad drops me and my sister in front of the store and Elise greets us with a huge smile when we enter. As I near her though, he smile fades. “You ok honey?”

  “Upset tummy.” I try my best to smile.

  “You look really pale,” Elise follows me into the back to put away my bag. “Let me know if you’re no feeling good ok?”

  I nod and assure her I’m ok with one last smile before turning around to put away my things. I can smell coffee and it’s not doing me any favours.

  Thankfully the shop isn’t too busy today but Lulu helps me out by taking charge of both of our shifts as I walk around like a zombie. I think this is one of the worst days I’ve had since discovering I’m pregnant. I think I should have stayed in bed. Lunch time is the worst because the smells of Luna’s and Elise’s food makes my belly churn. This is horrible.

  As we near the end of the day, I start to perk up a little bit and I’m weirdly craving cheese. I’m not usually the biggest fan of the stuff but if there was some cheese in front of me right now I think I would eat the whole lot. Just thinking about it has me nearly drooling.

  “Before I forget,” Elise announces as the three of us stand behind the counter. “The girls are getting together at Lauren’s place this weekend. The kids are all having a little sleepover too seeing as most of the men are away. Us women need cheering up.” She winks. “So what do you think? You coming?”

  Luna and I exchange a look but I don’t see why not. “Sure.” I smile.

  My sister looks a little shocked but then nods. “We’ll be there.”

  I don’t know what Luna’s problem is. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I can have some fun, it’s not like I’m going to be drinking.

  “Ah good.” Elise claps happily. “There’s a few of us going too.”

  “Who’s going?” Luna asks.

  “The usual.” Meaning Lauren, Maci, Drew and Tasha. “Erica is coming too, Miley and Lydia.”

  “Erica, that’s cool, I wanna get to know her more.” I nod.

  “Yeah she’s great.” Elise grins, which doesn’t surprise me. I think Elise likes everyone who is a decent person really. “Oh! Nelly and Sarah are coming too.”

  Hearing that makes me a little happier. Nelly are Sarah are more mine and Luna’s age, not that Elise and the rest are much older, but they already have a tight friendship group. Both girls are daughters to the club with their dads being long time members of the club. Nelly is training to be a nurse and Sarah works at one of the clubs bars. I wanted to do that also but there was no way my dad was letting me work at a strip joint, even if it was just behind the bar.

  “I’ll look forward to it.” I grin.

  “Hopefully you’re better by then.” Elise sympathetically adds and Luna casts me the side eye.

  ***

  Friday evening comes around pretty quickly and I’m thankful for it to be honest. This has been a boring and worrying week. I’ve hardly heard anything from Ryder and all the other old ladies seem to say the same thing. I think about Ryder all day and then he’s on my mind as I try to go to sleep. Whenever I do talk to him he sounds worn out and stressed. I miss him like crazy.

  We’ve been sneaking around and keeping our relationship and secret meetings hidden but now we’re free and are able to properly be together, Ryder’s away all week and I’m left alone.

  My pregnancy sickness hasn’t been great this week either. I don’t call it morning sickness as it comes and goes at any part in the day or night. Unfortunately for me, I’ve started to feel the niggling of sickness begin as I get ready, but I’m just hoping that it’s not going to be bad. I want to have some fun and I won’t be able to do that if I feel like I’m going to throw up.

  Lulu still keeps eyeing me oddly as we get ready. “What is your problem?” I ask her.

  “I just don’t know if you should be coming tonight.”

  “Because I’m pregnant?” I roll my eyes.

  “Obviously.”

  “I can have fun and not drink, it’s not the end of the world.” I’m nearly at the end of my patience with Luna, it’s as if I’m not allowed to do anything anymore. “Should I stay locked up for nine months?”

  “I guess not, I just don’t want you to feel left out or feel ill.”

  I get that she’s coming from a good place but she doesn’t need to worry. “And if that’s the case I’ll come home.”

  Lulu seems satisfied with that answer and I’m relieved. I can get ready in peace now. I’m really enjoying putting on some make up and dressing up a little. I’ve been feeling down lately so haven’t felt the need to.

  Alcohol free girls night here I come!

  Our dad takes us to Lauren’s place and by the time we get there all the kids are upstairs asleep already. Elise told us that all the mums met up earlier to let the babies have dinner and hang out together for a little while and then put them all to bed. It’s a cute idea and I hope I get an invite to the mum part sometime in the future.

  I’m offered a glass of wine almost immediately as I step inside the house but I turn it down. I know that I can technically have one drink but it just doesn’t feel right to me. Each to their own but I prefer not to.

  “You’re not drinking?” Tasha asks, looking stunned as I’m the only one.

  “My stomach doesn’t feel great.” I explain.

  “Oh no, you’re still feeling sick?” Elise appears out of nowhere, wrapping her arms around me. “Come on, let’s go and sit down.”

  “Lightweight.” Tasha laughs at Elise as she holds my hand and leads me into the living room.

  “I heard that.” Elise points her finger at Tasha.

  Laughing, Tasha follows us. “Well it’s not exactly a secret.”

  Everyone else is here and they all look over and greet me and my sister. You would think such a big group of women, wouldn’t there be bitchiness but oddly there’s none. I mean, there’s a lot of characters among the club ladies and daughters but we all know each other well enough to know where we stand with one another and how to take people. It also helps that we all seems to have a common enemy being the club bunnies.

  Elise leads me over to an empty sofa and we both take a seat. Me and Lulu are greeted by everyone and they all seem to gather in the same room. There’s not enough space for us all to sit on a chair or sofa, so some women comfortably sit on the floor, holding their drinks and joining in on the conversation.

  “So Poppy,” Maci starts. “How was it watching the fight?”

  “Oh god it was awful.” I cover my face and shake my head. “I never wanna go through that again.”

  “It is tough.” Elise nods next to me, her man Bomber is a well know fighter too, just like Axel.

  “So how long have you been seeing each other?” Asks Sarah and everyone seems to be listening to me.

  “A month or so I think, we didn’t really begin things the right way.” I admit. “It was just a one night stand to begin with.”

  “Argh that’s the best. “ Drew swoons.

  The girls laugh.

  “I heard Axel was pissed.” Sarah adds. “My brother was there with him when all the men were talking about it, said he looks like he could kill someone.”

  “Men are so touchy.” Tasha laughs. “Just because Ryder is friends with Axel doesn’t mean Ryder wouldn’t want Poppy, she’s fucking stunning.”

  I can’t help but blush.

  “Was you dad ok?” Lauren asks and I nod.

  “He was actually, he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to get hurt.”

  “When Ryder gave you the leathers in the boxing ring.” Drew grins widely. “That was something else.”

  “I had no idea.” All this talk of Ryder is making me miss him even more. This isn’t what was supposed to be happen
ing! I’m here to take my mind of Ryder for a little while.

  “Well, it’s just good to know that I haven’t been the only rebel child.” Laughs Drew and everyone joins in. Drew was a handful.

  The night is fun and I don’t think I’ve stopped laughing. All questions of Ryder have finished and they’re all as happy for me as I was them when they found their happiness. It’s just so amazing now that I don’t have to hide it from everyone. Ryder and me are a proper couple now. We’re just going to become a family a lot sooner than I originally thought and I haven’t even told him yet.

  The girls keep offering me drinks as they become a little tipsy, but I have to decline them all. I would like join in the fun more than anything, but I have a little one counting on me. My sister and Elise keep reminding everyone why I’m not drinking tonight. Or should I say, the lie as to why I’m not drinking.

  As I walk into the kitchen, I’m starting to understand where Lulu was coming from. I feel a little left out as everyone feels the buzz of the alcohol. I would have been happier staying at home, in my bed with Netflix to occupy me.

  I spot a few baby monitors around the place, one of them near me as I browse the cupboards. I think I hear one of the babies crying and I see the lights going up and down. I hold the monitor and clearly hear one of the babies crying.

  “One of the kids are crying.” I tell Lauren as she enters the room. A little panic shows on her face and she goes to leave to check. I reach out and stop her. “It’s fine, I’ll go and check for you, you stay here and have fun.”

  Lauren looks at me as if I’m a God. “Thanks honey. Are you sure?”

  I nod, leaving the girls’ night to go and check on the children. Finding the stairway, I make way upstairs and go in search of the room the crying baby is in. I’m sure it’s not going to be too hard.

  Lauren and Grim’s house is quite big, with lots of doors to choose from but I hear the echos of crying which lead me in the right direction. I softly open the door and pop my heard around. I see a little movement inside one of the cots and the baby whimpers. As I near the child, I see its little Greyson, Tasha and Devlin’s little boy.

  “Oh no cutie.” I speak quietly, reaching down into the cot for him. I pick him up, making sure to bring his blanket with him. I know from Tasha and seeing little Greyson running around the clubhouse that he carries his blue blanket everywhere.

  Greyson still cries a little but he seems to be settling down in my arms. His head snuggling into me and my heart melts. I gently rock him, watching as his eyes close and I can’t remove my own eyes. He looks so damn cute. I can’t help but just look at him. He’s just turned one and I can’t believe how quick it’s gone, I wonder if my child and Greyson will play together?

  He looks just like Devlin with a little mix of Tasha. I wonder what my child is going to look like.

  My vision becomes blurred as tears gather in them, picturing what my life will be like in a years’ time. Will I have a daughter or a son? A mini me or a little version of Ryder?

  I carefully lay him back in the cot. Watching Greyson as he clutches at his blanket and gets comfy. He’s so cute. I think I’ll give my baby a blanket to cuddle up to as well.

  Convinced that Greyson is settled and the rest of the kids are fast asleep, I leave the room and head back downstairs. I think it’s time to leave.

  I send my dad a text to ask for him to come and fetch me and within seconds he replies and tells me he’ll be here soon.

  Luna meets me at the bottom of the stairs. “Hey, I was looking for you.” She grins.

  “Checking up on the kids.” I find my jacket hanging up by the front door. “I’m going to go home.”

  My sisters face falls. “Oh no, why?”

  “You were right, I shouldn’t have come. It feels weird.” Luna nods and goes to grab her own jacket and I stop her. “No, you stay.”

  “But it’s weird without you.” Her drunken sulking is cute.

  I walk over to her. “You’re sweet Lulu, but you need to stay and have fun. Dads on his way to come and get me. Just tell everyone that I’m sick, which isn’t a complete lie.”

  I take a deep breath, trying to clear my head of the sickness that keeps returning. It’s not lessened since I’ve arrived here and I just want to go home and get in my bed.

  Dad then texts me that he’s here and I give my sister a hug. “Now have a good night.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Poppy

  The more days that pass, the more I’m determined to tell Ryder that I’m having his baby. He has a right to know but I’m just so scared of telling him. We’re finally in a good place now that I’m just terrified of rocking things. He’s not back from the job yet though and I don’t want to tell him over the phone. I need to do this face to face. Ryder deserves that much after not telling him immediately.

  So until I can tell my baby daddy, I need to start taking care of myself and the baby. That starts with the next step that you take after discovering that you’re pregnant. The only thing, I’ve never been pregnant and I don’t know what I’m doing. I could just search for information on my phone but I would rather not be alone and I don’t know when Ryder will be back. I can’t just sit here waiting for him.

  I need to take the next steps and that means one thing. I need to tell my mother.

  This is going to be scary and just like Ryder, I’m worried what my mum will say. Ryder and I haven’t been official for long and after the scandal of us going behind my family’s back, me being pregnant is just the icing on top of the cake.

  As I’m deep in thought, my phone rings and makes me jump but when I see who it is calling me I jump for joy. It’s Ryder and I haven’t heard from him all day. I can’t wait to hear his voice!

  “Hello?” I eagerly answer.

  Ryder’s laughter does funny things to me. “I don’t even think that rang for two seconds.”

  “I was already holding my phone.” I giggle through my lie. I was just so excited to talk to him.

  “Ugh it’s nice to hear your voice.” He grumbles. “I can’t wait to come back.”

  “I know.” Tears gather in my eyes. I really want him to come home. “Do you know when that is?”

  Ryder sighs heavily. “I don’t know babe, I could give you a rough answer but I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

  “I get it.” I put a hand over my tummy, wishing he knew he was going to become a dad soon.

  “I was thinking,” Ryder adds. “you should move into the house.”

  There’s a moment of silence as I don’t know what to say. “Really?”

  “I know, it’s sudden but why not? It means when I’m home we can always be together.” Ryder explains but he really doesn’t need to.

  “I think it’s a great idea.” I hold back the emotional tears.

  “Yeah?” Ryder’s tired voice perks up at this.

  “Yeah.” I giggle. Starting to feel a little better.

  “Well when I get back, after I have you naked under me, we’ll talk about it more.” Ryder adds, then there’s a rustling noise and some voices in the background. “Ok baby, I gotta go but I’ll try call you again tomorrow.”

  “Ok.” I whisper. “Talk soon.”

  “Talk soon.” He replies and then the line ends and I’m sad all over again.

  The adjoining door to Luna’s room opens.

  “Hey, are you ok?” Her voice hits me and the dam breaks. Why is that always the case? When you’re upset and trying to hold everything together but you hear that special person’s voice and everything just falls apart.

  “Ryder just called.” I sniff and calm my crying. I look up at her. “He asked me to move in with him.”

  The shock on Luna’s face is almost comical. “Wow.” She whispers. “What did you say?”

  “I said yes.” I smile but my sister doesn’t. “What? You think I shouldn’t?”

  “Isn’t it a little soon?”

  “At first I thought that but then again, I a
m pregnant.” I explain. “And I’ve decided to tell mum about the baby.”

  Luna sits beside me on the bed. “Really?” She sounds happy.

  I nod. “I need her because Ryder isn’t here.” Taking a deep breath so I don’t cry. “I don’t know what to do now, but whatever it is I want mum there with me.”

  I feel bad not having my mum know that I’m pregnant. She doesn’t know I have her grandchild nestled in my belly.

  “Will you come with me to tell her?” I ask and she nods, holding out her hand.

  “No time like the present.” I take her outstretched hand and we both walk down the stairs together.

  We find her in the back garden, relaxing in the sun and reading a book.

  “Hey girls.” She grins and puts the book away when she notices us.

  “Not reading anything dirty are you?” I ask her and my mums eyes widen.

  Luna laughs. “Oh my god she was!”

  “You two stop it.” Mum giggles but her cheeks are blushed. Dirty minx.

  Me and my sister exchange a look before I look back to my mum. “I have something to tell you.”

  She’s grinning but when she sees the look in my eyes, her smile drops. “Poppy? Are you ok?”

  Lulu squeezes my hand and it’s the encouragement that I need. I look my mother dead in the eye and as I shake with nerves I tell her what she needs to know.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  We all freeze. Luna and me watching our mother carefully and her staring at me with wide eyes.

  “Mum?” Luna asks but she doesn’t snap out of it.

  I wait another minute before I shake my mother out of her shock, but she beats me to it. She leans forward, her eyes drifting from my belly to my face and back again. “You’re pregnant?”

  Nodding, I don’t realise that I’m crying. “Yes.”

  “Ryder’s baby I assume.” She smiles and I laugh.

  “Of course.”

  All of a sudden, my mum jumps up and pulls me up, wrapping her arms around me. “Ah honey!” She yells in delight. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “You’re going to be a grandma.” Luna laughs.