Affection: book 7 Read online

  These past seven days have been really amazing though and I don’t want this feeling to end but I need to do two things first before I let this be my life.

  I need to tell Ryder about the baby and I need to tell Axel to fuck off.

  ***

  I’m waiting for Ryder to pick me up and I wish I can shake this feeling before he arrives. For some reason, today I just can’t stop thinking about the baby. I mean, I think about the baby every day but it’s been on my mind all day. I think I should tell my mum because I need some advise and I don’t know what to do next. Once you pee on the stick and discover that you’re pregnant, what do you do next?

  My worries melt away when I see Ryder pull up outside through the large window. My body warms and tingles as I watch him get off his bike, how can someone be so sexy?

  “You here all alone?” He asks me as he strolls inside the store.

  I grab my bag, smiling at how worried he gets. “Lulu left about ten minutes ago, don’t worry.”

  “I’m not worried.” He lies. “It just means I can do this with nobody watching.” Ryder pulls me close, his hand on my ass as he kisses me. “Come on, let’s get going.”

  “Clubhouse?” Ryder’s now got me all hot and bothered. I need more from him and the way he’s squeezing my arse, I think he feels the same.

  “No.” He shakes his head. “My place.”

  I smile in excitement, bringing Ryder in close again to kiss him. “Then let’s go.”

  I really love Ryder’s house. It’s a perfect mix of traditional and modern. It’s a complete empty shell because he hasn’t bothered decorating it all. Just the basics really and it’s sort of sad that he doesn’t spend a lot of time there. Then again, a lot of the men spend most of their time at the clubhouse where there’s food, women and company.

  Ryder waits for me to lock up the shop and then we ride to his house, me on the back of his bike. I hold on tight and enjoy the ride. Being on the back of a motorcycle makes me feel at home. Most of my childhood memories have been spent on my dads bike and even though I’ve never had the urge to learn how to ride one, I just enjoy bring on the back.

  Excitement fills me when we ride the little road towards the house and through the gates. Parking on the drive, Ryder helps me down from the motorcycle and kisses me once more before we enter the house.

  “You know, a huge island would look amazing here.” I suggest as we enter the kitchen.

  “If you want it, you got it.” Ryder nods, handing me some takeaway menus to choose from.

  “But it’s your house.” I laugh, handing him the Chinese food menu and putting the rest back in the drawer.

  Ryder laughs and rolls his eyes, probably thinking it was stupid of him to ask me which take out I wanted. It’s always Chinese food! Even with my picky eating from pregnancy. “Well, you’ll be moving in soon so you should get to do some decorating and making your own stamp on the place.”

  I freeze in place. “What?”

  “You didn’t think we’d spend all out time at the clubhouse did you?” He chuckles and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me towards him. “I told you Pops, you’re my woman now and this is for us. We’re starting our life now, no more messing about. I got this house for my future and you’re it.”

  His words pull on my emotional chord and I fight the tears away. He must know, so he leans in and kisses me with so much love it almost chokes me. I show him through the kiss that I feel the same and I want this too. This is amazing for us but I fear the baby will be too much too fast for him. Once again, I’m feeling lost as what to do and when to tell him. He needs to know but I’m afraid once I do, then this will all be over.

  Soon, food is all forgotten and our kiss turns into more. We’re ripping off each other’s clothes, desperately needing to get closer. Within minutes Ryder has me bent over the kitchen table, gripping on for my life as he pounds into me. Delicious thrust after delicious thrust. Our bodies slapping and our groaning are the only sounds throughout the building. I can scream as loud as I want as Ryder hits that special spot, making my eyes roll to the back of my head. It’s not long until I’m there, riding my orgasm and Ryder quickly follows afterwards. He groans and rests his head on the back of my neck.

  “Fuck that was amazing.” He breathes deeply and I laugh along with him.

  But a sound from the front of the house has us pausing.

  “What was that?” I ask in a hushed voice.

  We make a mad dash to grab our clothes. I’ve only managed to pull on my thongs and pulled my shirt over my head and Ryder in his boxers, aiming his gun towards the unknown source of noise.

  “Put the gun down.” My brother’s voice hits me with shock. A harsh hit to the heart and I’m frozen in place. Ryder flashes a warning look back to me before returning to look down the hallway and towards my brother, who is currently walking our way. “Aren’t I glad I didn’t walk in two minutes ago?”

  Yeah, that would have been awkward.

  “Axe,” Ryder beings as Axel takes in mine and Ryder’s appearance.

  “Don’t fucking talk to me.” My brother snaps, glaring at Ryder and keeping his eyes firmly away from me. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do this?”

  Without a second to spare, Axel lands a hard punch to Ryder’s face and I scream.

  “Axel no!”

  Instead of listening to me, my brother just keeps landing punches to Ryder’s body and face. I run over to him, fighting with Axel to stop, pulling at is arms but it’s no hope. Ryder isn’t much help either. Rather than fight back, he’s just there and taking it. Probably thinking he deserves this. I change tactic, managing to stand in front of Ryder’s body with my own. Like some kind of shield.

  “Please stop!”

  Axel glares at me. “Move Poppy.”

  “Yeah, move Poppy.” Ryder grunts from behind me.

  “Why?” I turn slightly so Ryder can see my frown. “So he can continue to beat you?” He doesn’t answer, just looks at me with an empty look. I then give my big brother the death stare of all frowns. “Step the fuck away.”

  Axel holds up his hands in surrender, taking a step back from me but still looking anywhere but right at me. “Fuck Poppy, can you get dressed?”

  I then remember that I’m only in my underwear and a shirt, my bra still lays on the floor because I was in too much of a rush to get covered up before we discovered who was in the house with us.

  With a loud sigh, I go over to where my jeans are lying and pull them on. Ryder doing the same, collecting his clothing and getting dressed.

  “You understand why I’m here?” Axel asks Ryder and Ryder nods.

  “Of course.” He pulls his shirts on. “You heard.”

  “Heard?!” Axel snaps, causing me to wince at the loud level of his voice. “I fucking had to stand and watch you at the clubhouse last weekend, I wanted to beat you then but my dad held me back and made sure I didn’t.” Wow, I didn’t know that. “Apparently you’ve gotten his approval but you’re missing someone else.” Axel looks between me and Ryder. “You’re my brother man! I should have known about this!”

  “I know.” Ryder grunts. “It didn’t matter until now.”

  As much as that sucked to hear, what Ryder just said is true. Before, I regretted sleeping with Ryder and we weren’t in a good place. I vowed to not make the same mistake, even though I knew I was lying to myself deep down, but there was no need for Axel to know. We’ve only been getting closer the last couple of weeks.

  Axel looks to me. “What do you gotta say?”

  “That it’s none of your business who I wanna spend my time with.” I shrug, which seems to piss Axel off. If the deepened scowl is anything to go by. Even Ryder cringes a little.

  “None of my business?” Axel repeats my words back to me. “Because the whole club hasn’t been gossiping about you have they? I haven’t had to listen how well you two seem to be suited all the time I’ve been working away! It’s fucking embarrassing and insul
ting.”

  “Insulting!” I throw my arms in the air, getting fed up.

  Ryder looks back to me, begging me with his silent look to stop. “Pops, he’s right. I overstepped when it comes to the brotherhood code.”

  “Wow.” I roll my eyes.

  Ryder steps closer to me, taking my hand in his. “It’s true and I know you know it too.” Of course I do, it’s what I’ve been dreading this whole time. “I did Axe wrong, sleeping with his sister and then not letting him know is part of it.”

  “Right at the top.” Axel adds, not looking in our direction.

  “So what now?” I ask.

  “A fight in honor!” Axel smiles and dread fills me. It’s what I was afraid of the most.

  “But that’s for the father, not you!” I yell at him.

  Axel laughs bitterly. “Yeah and look where our dad is. Perfectly happy with this shit you two have been pulling, turning a blind eye to the embarrassment you caused. Dad should have done more but he didn’t wanna hurt his princess.”

  “Fuck you!”

  “He’s right.” Ryder gently takes my face into his hands, cupping my chin and turning me to face him. “We knew what was going to happen, it’s the rules of the club life.”

  “Stupid old fashioned out of date sexist rules.” I grumble.

  “Maybe,” my brother shocks me. “But they are there and we’re one of the first families, we live by the tradition. Ryder is one of my closest club brothers and he over stepped, he should have come to me or our dad sooner.”

  That still doesn’t make to rules any easier, but it does lessen my anger at Axel. A little bit.

  “Then it’s sorted, tomorrow night it is.” Axel nods towards Ryder, surprising me with a smile aimed at me before turning to leave. Fucking brothers!

  Axel drives away in his car, probably why we didn’t hear him arriving because he’s not on his overly loud motorcycle. Ryder and I settle in the living room, getting comfortable on the sofa as Ryder places our Chinese order. Now all the drama is over for today, I’m left really hungry.

  “Are you two really going to fight?” I ask nervously and Ryder nods.

  “I’ll go to the fight and get in the ring, but I won’t try to win.”

  I sit forward all of a sudden, looking at Ryder as if he’s talking gibberish. “What? You’re going to throw the fight?!”

  “He’s right, we embarrassed him so he deserves the win.”

  No insult to Ryder, he’s a big guy and can hold his own on any other day, but my brother is a fighter. He’s grown up in the boxing ring and even attends the illegal underground boxing fights that have no rules. He’s got the upper hand and would most likely win but for Ryder to just not try is just stupid!

  “You can’t do that!”

  Ryder pulls me close and kisses me on the top of my head. “I’ve already made up my mind, it’s only fair and if I had a sister or even a daughter I’d do the same fucking thing.”

  His words bring me to silence for a number of reasons, the main one is of course him talking about having a daughter. It’s possible that throughout all this drama I forgot for just a moment but it’s as if I feel my baby jumping around my tummy, yelling at me to tell Ryder. I should tell him now but it looks like he needs his head straight for tomorrow night. I think he would be in a worse state mentally if I was to tell him he’s about to become a father.

  Where’s my Chinese food?

  Chapter Twelve

  Poppy

  When I wake up the next morning a pit of dread has settled in at the bottom of my stomach. Tonight is fight night and to say I’m dreading it is an understatement.

  Ryder’s stirs beside me and I just lay and watch him. We decided to sleep at his place last night, there’s not much here but he has the basics at least. I didn’t fancy going to the clubhouse and everyone wanting to pitch in their opinions or just watch us as we walk by, knowing what’s going to happen. At least here we have privacy.

  “You planning on watching me sleep all day?” Ryder asks as he slowly opens his eyes.

  A smile breaks out and I manage to giggle a little. “You were spying on me?”

  “I was watching you creep.” Ryder smirks.

  “Will it stop you from going to the fight?” I ask stupidly and Ryder’s smirk fades.

  His hand reaches up to a lone strand of my hair that has fallen from my messy bun. “No babe.” I nod sadly, dread filling me as I stare at his handsome face. The same face that will have some very colourful bruises for the next couple of weeks. Axel loves aiming for his opponents face. “You know I have to do this right?”

  Sighing, I nod slowly. “But I wish you didn’t have to.” I look away from him as I ask him my question. “What are you going to do?”

  “I haven’t changed my mind Pops, Axel deserves to win and he will.”

  This gets me mad. “Why does he deserve to win? Just because he’s my brother doesn’t mean he has a right over anything!” I glare into the distance. “It’s really pissing me off.”

  “I wasn’t born into the club Pops.” Ryder announces and I look to him with shock. “That means that I can be thrown out and this is my family, I need to play by the rules if I want to stay and be with you.”

  “No.” I shake my head.

  Ryder reaches for my hand. “You were born into the club, which kind of means you’re untouchable for men like me. Think if it as the princess and the stable boy.”

  “What?” I shake my head almost laughing at how ridiculous that is. “No.”

  “The fact you don’t see that should tell you I’m right.” He smiles. “But it’s true, I have to let Axel win and get the respect his name stands for, your family Poppy.” He kisses me sweetly. “Then we can be us and begin our life together.”

  “That sounds good.” I smile. “The last part, because the start sounds shit.”

  Ryder laughs and brings me close so I can snuggle to his side. His tattooed arms wrapping around my pale and plain body. I hold him close because I’m afraid that he will end up badly hurt tonight. Ryder is no weakling, let me make that clear. He’s a big guy with muscles to drool over. Ryder will not be knocked down easily but that’s how good my brother is as a fighter. If he wasn’t involved with the club lifestyle, he could make fighting his career but he loves being a biker more. Axel fights for the club actually when local MC’s have little fighting bets, Axel is the man they all call for so it’s not because I think Ryder isn’t tough enough. It’s just that Axel is so good.

  Ryder’s phone disturbs my thoughts, it’s been making noise all morning as people are starting to hear the news of the fight. I’ve turned my phone to silent because mine is the same. My mum and dad were the first, quickly followed by Lu and now the rest. I appreciate them wanting to share their good wishes with us but it’s only adding to my worries. I think they all know Axel will win tonight.

  Elise even told me that Ryder turned down some one on one warm up with Bomber. Which is ridiculous. Why would he not want to get ready? I’ve already asked him and I get the same sort of answer every time. Ryder doesn’t see the point when he’s already planned to hand over the fight. It’s pretty much his only reply to everything this morning.

  Ryder sighs, putting down his phone and I move from my place as he slowly sits up in bed. “You want some breakfast?”

  “Sure.” I fake smile, joining him in getting dressed. I don’t think I can stomach any food at the minute. Whether it’s from nerves or the pregnancy I don’t know, but I’ll try anything to try and shake this nervousness.

  Sitting around the kitchen table that I was bent over last night, I’m having to take deep breaths as Ryder makes us some bacon and eggs. The smell of the bacon is hitting me the wrong way. Every deep breath that I take in makes my sickness get worse and I start to sweat. Oh please no. I jump from my seat and run for the toilet, not sure if I’ll make it on time.

  “Poppy?” Ryder calls after me but I can’t think about him now, I need to get to the toilet b
efore I vomit.

  I manage to get to the toilet, falling to my knees as quickly as I can and just in time too. Ugh I hate being sick!

  As the first wave dims, my hair is pulled back and Ryder’s hands rub my back. “You ok?” He asks me.

  “Ugh.” I groan, my body sagging. “Please don’t look at me.”

  “What?” He laughs.

  “I don’t want you to see me like this.” Another wave of sickness hits me and I try not to make much noise but it’s not something that you can control very well.

  Ryder continues to hold my hair and rub my back and as much as I don’t want him here with me when I feel like this, it’s really nice that he’s trying to help me.

  When my belly feels settled enough that I know I won’t be sick again, I go to stand up and Ryder helps me. I feel his eyes on me as I wash my face. “Probably from nerves.” I manage a small smile and case a look over to him. He looks worried but I don’t think he’ll connect the dots and figure I’m pregnant. Instead he holds my hand as we return to the kitchen and hands me a cold glass of water. It’s feels soothing against my sore throat and the waft of bacon doesn’t bother me as much now that my stomach contents have been emptied.

  “You’re sure you’re okay?” Ryder asks, looking at me with an overly worried look as he plates our food. I feel like a shitty person.

  “Yeah.” I fake a smile as he puts down my food in front of me. My face must turn green or something because Ryder quickly take it away.

  “You don’t have to eat that if you still feel sick.”

  This time my smile is real. “I think I’ll make some toast.”

  Ryder nods, then turns to make me some toast but I stand and reach out for his arm. “You eat and I’ll make my own toast.” He’s about to argue with me but I place a hand in front of his mouth. “Sit.”