Affection: book 7 Read online

  “Right, that’s all done Poppy.” She stands from her seat and hands me the booklet she was writing in. “These are your notes and you need to bring these with you to every appointment connected to your pregnancy, including scans.”

  “Thank you.” I take my notes from her.

  “Keep a lookout for your scan date as I have told the hospital to rush you through.”

  “Thank you so much.” My mum replies and the three of us leave in a happy mood.

  The car drive home is quiet and I’m glad that I’m the one driving to occupy my thoughts. As soon as I came out that midwifes room I made the decision to finally tell Ryder. I’ve been wrong keeping it from him this long. He should have known before he went away for his job, hell I should have told him before his fight with Axel!

  As soon as I get home I rush to my room and hide my maternity notes so my dad or brother can’t find them. Not that they snoop in my room, but just so I know that nobody else will find out I’m pregnant before Ryder does.

  The next thing I do is send Ryder a message.

  Me: Hey babe, you want to meet today?

  He replies faster than I thought he would.

  Ryder: Obviously! Come to mine at 5?

  I tell him that I’ll be there and I jump in the shower, then I get to packing my bag for tonight. I’m going to tell Ryder that I’m pregnant. He will know by tonight that he’s going to be a father. It doesn’t matter if he wants this baby or not because I do. I don’t care, I will raise my child alone if that’s what it takes.

  I don’t own a car yet, so I ask my mum if I could borrow hers until the morning and due to the reason why I’m going, she has no problems at all. I say my goodbyes, with my mum and Luna wishing me luck.

  “Let me know how it goes.” Luna cuddles me tight. “You’ll be fine.”

  “I hope so.” I take in a deep and hopefully calming breath. “What if he hates me?

  “He won’t hate you.” She frowns. “And if that’s how he wants to go about it he’ll have me to deal with.”

  With one last cuddle, I throw my bags into back and blow Luna and my mum a kiss as I get into the car and make the short drive to Ryder’s. My stomach is in knots the entire time.

  As I enter the gates to his property and slowly roll the car down the driveway, I see his truck and my heart picks up even more speed. I park up and try to control my nerves. “This is it kiddo.” I whisper under my breath as Ryder comes out to greet me.

  He reaches into the back to get my bags for me as I get out but once I’m out the car he pins me against the car and kisses me urgently. Growling against my mouth as I kiss him back and reach up to pull his hair.

  “Come on.” He takes my hand and walks me towards the house on shaky legs. When I step inside I smell food and my stomach grumbles. Ryder laughs. “Looks like I had the right idea.”

  I don’t know what he means, but then he guides me into the kitchen and I’m blown away. There’s beautiful lit candles that lead outside to the garden and as Ryder let’s me walk in front to get the full effect I become emotional as the candles act as a path to a laid out picnic of pizza and chocolates. There’s cushions and bean bags that are arranged for comfort but the biggest surprise is the projector and screen that’s been put up for us to watch a film.

  “Wow.” I turn and take it all in. “Ryder this is amazing.”

  “You like it?” He grins, seeming proud of himself and so he should be. It’s beautiful. “I found a company that hire this movie night package.”

  “Of course I like it.” I lean up to kiss him. “Thankyou.”

  We sit on the blankets and I lean back on one of the beanbags, getting settled as Ryder hands me some pizza. We choose a film and once our bellies are full, he pulls me over to him and we snuggle up. Ryder throws a blanket over me as it begins to get chilly. He’s honestly amazing and lately I just love being with him and spending more and more time together. It’s why I don’t want to rock the boat but it seems I have to.

  I really need to visit the little girls’ room and Ryder pauses the film for me. I make a fuss as I stand because I’ve eaten so much food that it’s a struggle to get to my feet. I stretch and it causes my top to rise slightly and Ryder laughs, reaching up and placing his hand on the bottom of my belly and I freeze.

  “You’ve grown a food baby will all that food.” He chuckles and usually I would laugh along with him. It’s true, I’ve eaten a lot but his comment hits me off guard and I realise it’s now.

  Now is the time to tell him that I’m pregnant.

  When Ryder notices that I’m not smiling along to his joke, his own grin fades and he drops his hand from my belly. “Pops?”

  I place my own hand over my belly and look down, sure enough there is a little bump. I am quite slim so when I eat I do always bloat. I look back to Ryder who is watching me carefully. I begin to shake.

  “Poppy you’ve gone pale.” Ryder stands with me and places his hands either side of my face. “What’s up?”

  I put my hands over his and take them from my face. Taking a deep breath I prepare myself. “I need to tell you something.”

  Ryder frowns. “You’re scaring me Pops, what’s wrong?”

  I look him right in the eye. “I’m pregnant.”

  Ryder is silent. He doesn’t say anything at all. He just stands in place and stares at me.

  “Ryder?” I ask and he shakes his head.

  “What have I done?” He whispers.

  “What?” I ask, I wasn’t expecting that to be his first response.

  He then steps back and away from me, running his hands through his hair. Ryder looks like he’s about to freak out. “Are you sure?”

  I almost laugh. “Yes I’m positive, I’m about fourteen weeks.”

  “I didn’t want this to happen.”

  Well that just pisses me off. “Yeah well it has and now we’re about to be parents.”

  “You’re keeping it?” He asks me, sounding stunned.

  I look up to the darkening sky and hold back my angry tears. “Yes I am and you know what else?” I collect my mobile from the floor. “I’m leaving!”

  What’s worse is, Ryder doesn’t even argue with me about going. It’s like he wants me to go. As I walk away and enter the kitchen to leave the way I came in, Ryde finally follows. “Wait.” He tries to stop me but I keep on walking through the house. “Pops!”

  “I’m done.” I wipe away my tears and throw open the front door, ignoring whatever he has to say as I approach my mums’ car.

  “We’re not done.” Ryder shouts.

  I turn to face him before I get into the car, he’s standing on the doorstep watching me. Not stopping me but just watching me leave instead. “You want this baby?” I point to my belly.

  Ryder doesn’t answer, just looks down at his feet. Fucking coward.

  “Well me and my baby are kind of a package deal now, so I guess if you don’t want my baby then you’re not having me.” With that, I get in the car and speed away. When I get to the gates Ryder has already entered his house and closed the door. I guess I know where I stand. I knew this was going to happen and it’s why I couldn’t bring myself to tell him but it’s done now.

  I’m crying as I drive, big fat ugly tears stream down my face. I keep having to wipe them away but it’s no use. As soon as wipe, more tears replace them and it only gets faster the more I think about my poor baby. I should probably pull over but I just want to get home.

  Ryder is a fucking dick and screw him for making me cry like this!

  I call my sister, putting her on speaker in the car as I make my way home. “Hello?” She answers, sounding a little shocked as to why I’m calling.

  “Lulu?” I ask, tears coming faster now I’ve heard her voice.

  “Pops?” She asks. “What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

  “He doesn’t want the baby.” I sob, my belly shaking with how much I’m crying.

  “He told you that?” She asks, sounding pissed.


  “He didn’t need to, his silence said everything.” I wipe at my eyes, I can hardly see anything now and it’s pretty dangerous.

  “Where are you?” She sounds worried.

  “Coming home.” I cry, hardly able to talk now.

  “Be careful Pop.” Luna adds quietly. “Pull over and we’ll come and get you.”

  “Ok.” It’s probably best, my vision is so blurred from my crying and I just want to let it all out. I want to scream and sob. “I’ll pull over at the park.”

  I don’t need to tell her which once because we only call on particular park, ‘The Park’ because it’s our favourite and has been since we were kids.

  “Oh shit.” I’m suddenly blinded by some headlights and it doesn’t even matter about my tears now because the lights are too much. I try to shield my eyes but it doesn’t help. It’s too late for me when I see a huge truck on my side of the road. “Luna!” I yell.

  “Poppy?” Her panicked shouts fill the car as I scream, crashing into the truck.

  A loud crushing sound deafens me and the motion of hitting some hard has my neck whipping and my body thrusting to the side. The car is spun around too fast for me to count. I close my eyes as everything spins and then with one last crash, it’s all black.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Ryder

  Why isn’t she answering her fucking phone!?

  I’ve called her over thirty times now and it’s just going straight to her voicemail. I understand why she doesn’t want to hear from me but I need to talk to her. I acted badly and I should have kept her here with me to talk through this.

  She’s carrying my baby.

  That’s hard to wrap my mind around but it’s now my reality. I need to explain to her that I was in shock and I truly didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting her to tell me she is pregnant. Anything but that.

  It’s not that I don’t want kids. I love them and want them one day but I wasn’t expecting this to happen so soon. Thinking back though, we don’t use protection that often so we was tempting fate.

  I feel like shit just letting her go and now I’m worrying about her. I don’t know where we stand. I still want her to be mine. She my woman and if she’s pregnant with my child then two turns to three. It’s as simple as that.

  I just wish I wasn’t that stunned to fucking make sense when she was here. God I’m a fucking idiot.

  I’m going to be a dad and Poppy will be the mother to my child. The thought actually makes me happy but Poppy doesn’t know that. Making her my woman, I knew we would have kids at some point, just not this soon but I’ll take it. She’s mine and we do this together.

  Another hour goes by and I’ve still not heard anything. I can’t shake the feeling that something doesn’t feel right. I try Poppy’s phone one more time but when it goes to voicemail again, I’ve had enough. I’m going round there.

  I’ll get there faster on my bike, so I grab my keys and run outside. As I’m about to get going my phone rings and I quickly fetch it out of my pocket, hoping it’s Poppy. I want to hear her voice, even if it’s to yell at me. When I see that it’s Buzz, Poppy’s dad calling I also see that Prez has made a surprising visit.

  What’s he doing here and why is Buzz calling me.

  I answer Buzz’s call and as soon as I hear the dreadful tone of his voice I just know it’s something bad.

  “Ryder,” Buzz sounds wounded. “It’s Poppy.”

  “No.” I hold back my cries as Prez walks closer to me. He nods and takes the phone out of my hand before I drop it. Buzz continued to talk but I didn’t hear anything. My heart feels as though it’s stopped.

  “I’ve got him Buzz.” Prez speaks into the phone, handing it back to me once he’s ended the call.

  Grim’s here to tell me the news, that’s why he’s turned up like this. He knew before me. Even though he’s my president that just doesn’t go down well with me, but I’m going to drop that because my girl is in danger somehow.

  “What’s happened?” I order my President to tell me.

  Grim puts his hands in his pockets and faces me dead on. “Poppy’s been in an accident,” he delivers and I almost fall off my bike. I get off so I can properly take this in. “She’s in the hospital and I’m here to take you.”

  “She’s pregnant.” I tell him, my heart starting to beat even faster and I run my hands through my hair, pulling it out of frustration. “She should have stayed here Prez, she told me she’s pregnant and I fucking let her go home upset because I was a fucking coward!”

  I don’t care. I let my tears fall. What have I done?

  “How is she?” I turn to him desperately.

  “I don’t know.” Prez shakes his head. “Come on, let me take you.”

  He guides me to his car, and I stare into the road as he drives us. I keep picturing Poppy’s heartbroken face as she left my place. It pulls on my heart and I feel like shit.

  “So you’re going to be a dad.” Prez breaks the silence and I bury my head in my hands.

  “Yeah but I didn’t exactly show that I was happy when she told me.” I grumble. “I was in shock.”

  He nods, “She thinks you don’t want the baby?”

  “I didn’t say anything and watched her drive away. I might as well told her I didn’t want her or the baby.” I want to punch something. My skin itches to get out this car and find a random guy to pick a fight with. “I was in shock, I didn’t know what to say.”

  “I know you’re going through shit right now, but you gotta fix this brother.” Prez delievers his words. “You go and make sure your woman is ok, you be by her side and you own your shit. You make it up to her and treasure her. Pregnant or not.”

  It hurts to hear his words but I take them on board because I respect my President.

  “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I don’t think this was an accident.” He continues and I look across to him.

  “You think this was an attack?” I ask and Grim nods.

  “You take care of your family and I’ll tell you what you need to.” He finishes as we arrive at the hospital. “We’ll sort it out brother.”

  I jump from the car as soon as Grim parks in front, a couple of the clubs prospects are here and one of them jumps into his car and parks it somewhere but I don’t hang about. I run inside and see Buzz standing there, waiting for me.

  “Where is she?” I ask him desperately. “Is she ok?”

  “I need a word before I take you to her.” Buzz demands and I’m about to argue with him but he holds up his hand. “You will see her but before I need you to hear me out.” I nod in return. I spy Prez hanging back, giving us our privacy but close enough just in case something was about to break out. I wouldn’t do that to Buzz though. He’s Poppy’s father. “Now I don’t know exactly what happened but Luna told me Poppy told you about the pregnancy and you denied it and Poppy.”

  I shake my head. “She told me she is pregnant and I reacted the wrong way, I didn’t tell her anything but when she asked me if I was ok and wanted the baby, I also didn’t say anything. I know that’s wrong but I was in shock Buzz, I didn’t know what to say. Or if I did speak I didn’t know what the fuck I said. After she went I tried calling, I wish she had stayed and we spoke. I never wanted this.”

  Buzz stares at me hard. “You didn’t tell her you didn’t want her or the baby?”

  “No.” I immediately answer. “No, I was stunned but this is my life, she is my woman and she’s carrying my baby.” A thought overtakes me. “Shit, is the baby ok?”

  He nods and a huge sigh of relief goes through me. “They picked up a heartbreak and will do a scan as soon as she wakes up.”

  “Ah thank god.” I take the closest seat and let all this information settle.

  “Look,” Buzz sits beside me. “I went through this with Axel, I went into complete shock, didn’t even respond to Audrey’s calls until the next day. I don’t blame you for what’s happened.” He then stands. “Come on, I’ll take you
to her.”

  Buzz leads me to where Poppy is and as soon as we enter the room, I see her. My feet rush to her as she’s sleeping. “How is she?”

  “She’s ok.” Audrey, Poppy’s mum stands close and places her hand on my shoulder. “She’s been knocked about but she’s ok, and the baby has a strong heartbeat.”

  I fall to the chair beside Poppy’s bed, I take in all the bruises and cuts to her face and arms. I wear if this isn’t an accident and someone is behind hurting my woman and potentially my child, they’ll be hell.

  “What happened Ryder?” Luna cries from across the room. “She rang me sobbing, she believed that you didn’t want the baby.”

  “I was in shock but that doesn’t matter now.” I gently touch Poppy’s arm, scared that I’ll hurt her. “I’m not letting her go that easy,” I grin over at Poppy’s twin sister. It’s funny, I thought they were identical but I see the difference. Poppy has a mole above her lip and she has this no shit attitude that she wears in her expression. Luna looks gentler and has freckles. “Besides, we’re about to become parents.”

  Luna smiles a little. “I’m glad to hear it but you need to make that clear to her when she wakes.”

  “Ah fuck no.” Axel walks in, his face screwed in anger as soon as he spots me. “You can fuck off out of here.”

  “Axel.” Audrey scolds. “Shut up and respect your sister.”

  “I’m telling him to fuck off because I care about my sister.” Axel retorts and the glares at me. “Get out.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Axel storms over but then out of nowhere Prez arrives and blocks Axel’s path. “Settle down Axel, he needs to be here and you know it.”

  Axel looks at me over Grim’s shoulder and groans out load in frustration, sitting next to his sister, Luna.

  “Anymore from you and you’re out.” Audrey points to Axel and he nods. “Poppy didn’t want this awake so she sure as hell doesn’t want to hear this now.”

  I’ve been here for an hour when Poppy begins to stir. Everyone in the room freezes and waits to see if she wakes.

  “Poppy?” I whisper by her side, holding onto her hand.

  Audrey joins on her other side. “Poppy?” She asks softly. “We’re all here.”